A Helper Fit: {When You Feel Like a Failure as a Wife}

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'"Genesis 2:18

There are days my eyes fill with tears and my heart beats fast with shame. Days when I wish I could take back the words, time I wish I could reverse the half-hearted actions, the silences when I should have said something.

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And as I look back through the wives I’ve observed in my almost 24 years of life, I see lots of examples, good and bad. And I wonder how to get to be the wife like the good I've admired. I’m not meek and gentle. I’m not super-organized. I’m not a home decor master. I’m not brave and bold. I’m not passionate and free. I’m not decisive and submissive.

"And the Lord said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone.'” And I know my man needs a safe place, an encourager, a cheerleader, an advisor, a follower, a lover...and I see the list of ways I’ve failed. I’ve been a discourager instead of his encourager. I’ve been demanding instead of cheering. I’ve been needy instead of being safe. I’ve been a mutineer instead of following. I’ve been a bad advisor instead of a good one. I’ve been his enemy instead of his lover.

But God didn’t stop with creating woman as just any helper. He said, "I will make him a helper fit for him.” Fit for him. Qualified. Equipped.

From the beginning, God created woman as a fit helper. He created me as a fit helper for my husband. Women, He created us as fit helpers for our husbands.

And my mind screams that we messed it up. We took the forbidden fruit and brought the curse of the fall upon humanity.

Yet, even then our Creator had a plan. He sent His Son to die on a tree so that the sin we stole from a tree might be forgiven. And in Him, we have everything we need for life and godliness. In Him, I can be a good fit for my husband. I can be a fit helper.

Through the restoration of His Son, He is restoring in me the ability to be that fit helper given to us from the beginning of creation.

So yes, I’ll mess up. And yes, I’ll have epic failures. But I have been made for this and I am being empowered for this and there is more than enough grace for all my messy moments in Jesus.

Do you ever get discouraged about not being the wife you want to be? What truths do you speak into your own heart or have others spoken into you at moments like that?

Be blessed <3