Beyond the Pain

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”Hebrews 12:1-2

Endure "to suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently"

"It’s hard to run faster when it all already hurts so bad.” There’s pushing to pain and pushing through the pain and then pushing beyond the pain to know your true limit beyond what your body is saying.

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And there is standing on the edge of the track just enough to be in the race and there is jogging it timid and afraid and there is half-hearted running and there is pushing so hard you have no more to give. As I watched some of them push to the point of pain, but not beyond, my heart screamed, “It’s only about 20 minutes of your life! Give it everything!” And as my mind shouted logic at their feeble pushing my heart sank in my chest.

Where have I given it everything I have? Where have I not only accepted the pain, but embraced it? Where have I endured to the point of hard and hurt...and then beyond? Where have I sat down with logic to tell myself "this is worth the hard" and then lived it?

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Because no one ever said that enduring is easy.

If I can’t convince myself to roll out of bed at 6:30 for even a half-hearted jog… If I can’t make it through a busy day without a coffee or brownie or glass of Diet Coke… If I can’t wrestle my anxious heart and crazy schedule to truly sit in His presence daily… If I can’t live trust for a God who’s never, ever, ever broken a promise or gone back on His Word... …then am I truly enduring?

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Do I see my goal clearly enough? Do I value the prize the way I should…the way He deserves?

And my heart is pondering deep these truths. And my failures are more than I would ever desire to count. But in naming them, in the counting of my weakness, I have a number for the times He is made great in me. And in the naming of my sin, I have a moment to look back on in years to come to see His marvelous work in me.

Let’s not be afraid to see and count and name our failures in this area. He has paid the punishment for them, and He will give the strength to not repeat them, and it will all be for His glory in the end.

Be blessed <3