I started a prayer journal.A place to record the heart cries and the requests, a place to remember and a place to come back to again and again. A place to record the answers and the victories and the trials turned blessings. A place to look back and see that He is faithful when my faith and faithfulness are faltering.
In it I recorded a request that was burdening my heart. A request for the faithfulness of God to be visibly seen. A request that the work of the Spirit would be evident.
And my heart felt heavy with the what if's and fears.
What if it's all been a work of the flesh, instead of the Spirit? What if there is never any direct, personal revelation from God? What if it becomes a life of doing things and not serving people? What if...
And then I opened up His Word, begging for help, for healing, for truth. And I started reading through the Hall of Faith - Hebrews 11. I was in awe. I learned. I was swept up by this beautiful display of faith written out so clearly! And at the very beginning of this life-giving chapter, He said,
No more fear. If I believe Him, If I am seeking Him, If I am desiring to draw near to Him, Then He has promised that He will reward that desire, that act of faith, by drawing near to me.
No fear of Him not being close No fear of failing on this path called sanctification. No more "what if" I am doing this wrong's.
If I believe He exists, and if I desire to draw near to Him, He will reward that. I may not be doing it all perfectly…in fact, I know I'm not, but He sees my heart. He sees my desire for Him. He sees my belief that He is God. And "He will reward those who seek Him."
Sister, have you ever had your burdened heart so suddenly and completely relieved by the truth of scripture? Have you ever worried that you're doing it wrong and that even if you think you're relying on Him, you're not?
Be blessed <3