Freely...

I don't always breathe freely. It's easy to see when I'm not, but sometimes I close my eyes and try to pretend that everything is okay...that I'm not holding my breath. It shows in my words. In my intimacy.

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When I'm breathing freely, it's easy to keep my husband close. It's easy to speak words that bring closeness and intimacy.

When I'm breathing freely, I can't contain the words in my mind. They flow out of my fingers almost too easily. They pour out...more thoughts than I can contain in my mind and heart.

It's how I processes. It's how I know I'm breathing.

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Sometimes, there are no words. Sometimes, I can't find words to tell the simplicity of what I did all day. Sometimes, there is nothing...I feel nothing.

Sometimes, I close my eyes and turn my head away. Sometimes, I refuse to believe what I know is true. Sometimes, I say... I'm not sleeping well. My husband should talk first. Life is just so busy.

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But I know... God knows...

When there are no words, I'm secretly fighting Him. Fighting intimacy. Fighting surrender. Fighting trust.

Once I finally open my eyes and surrender...the words flow again. It's pretty easy to tell when I'm breathing freely...for my blog readers more than anyone. Am I saying anything? I mean really saying anything?

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You'll know...and I am hopefully not shutting my eyes.

Be blessed <3

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