I got home from Mexico and I missed the still...the quiet.And somewhere in missing the feeling I started missing out on life. I stopped enjoying the stillness and the beauty in the life moments around me. I started living in waiting.
Waiting for the crazy planning of Easter to be done. Waiting for the long hours of work to finish. Waiting for my house to all be clean at the same time. Waiting for peace to find me. But peace isn't passive and peace isn't a thing or a feeling...it's a Person.
And wasn't that the lesson I learned just two weeks ago as I tried to readjusted to Eastern Standard Time and the sounds of South Florida drivers outside our apartment?
How quickly I forget!
And as we walked in the dark last night, husband and wife, hand-in-hand, he said it hard and true. "Alesha, don't start living for the weekend."
And the words cut and I felt excuses burning my tongue as they came tumbling out of my mouth, and I tried to argue that it wasn't what I was doing. But this morning, refreshed by sleep, I know he's right.
And it's not just the weekend I'm living for... My heart is waiting for perfect, holding out for comfort, refusing to be satisfied with now under the myth of ease to come. And I've wondered where my joy has gone the last few days, when really, I've been the one setting it aside. Because each time I refuse to rejoice in the gift of now, I'm setting aside my own joy.
So when stress and dissatisfaction creep into my heart, I must ask myself...
Am I living in thanks giving of the moment or am I holding out on joy? Because God is never holding out on me! Because His grace is flooding my life whether I choose to see it or not. And sisters, it is our choice to see it or not. His grace is there whether I choose to see it or I choose to ignore it.
And this week, I've been choosing to ignore His grace. I've been shunning the good and the beauty that God has given me and have been holding out for something better. But that something better is a myth...a lie. He has already given me His best. He has already given you His best. Because He gave us Jesus.
And if He's given us His Son, then why do we think He holding out on us with everything else?
Because it's not so much a matter of how life is going, it's a matter of how much we chose to see His grace in life's circumstances. Because He is good. And He gives good to His children. And He gave His best and He gives us grace and He will continue to give us good as we seek Him. Will I see it? Will you see it? Will we rejoice in it?
Be blessed <3