Homesick

It's a funny thing. PatternMixing_1

One minute the sun is filling your heart with an undying warmth. The next, you feel cold and lost. And another, your heart begins to sink to a depth your didn't know existed.

One minute you feel so close, like your life is just a short vacation from what you've always known. The next, you feel like you've never known anything than the reality you have now. And another, you feel as though you'll somehow never get back, no matter how hard you try.

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And then you lift your head. You see the sun, you see new friends, you drive down streets that are becoming familiar, and you know that you couldn't back. At least not yet. You realize, that your home has changed and will continue to, whether you realize it or not.

Most day's have been fine. The sun has a way of keeping my head and heart distracted. But then the moment will slow down, a sad song will come on the radio, I'll see something that reminds me of home, and my heart starts breaking all over and the tears are suddenly stinging my eyelids. Sometimes it's like gasping for air.

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In that moment I feel the choice tugging at me. I can distract myself again and push the pain again...or I can let it swallow me for a moment; I can let the tears swell and the hurt stab with every heartbeat. Usually, I choose distraction.

But the most comforting moments are the ones where I allow the homesickness to surge. In those moments I feel lost and desperate. So there is only one place to turn, one person to turn to. And that One always brings comfort. The soothing that takes place happens deep within my soul, reassuring me that this is His plan and that He is working it for good.

These are the times of healing. These are the moments of growth.

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Can you identify with these feelings? Do you ever find yourself stuffing your emotions? How do you deal with homesickness?

Be blessed <3

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