He preached two Sundays ago at our church and as an illustration for how we find the time to do what we value, he talked about how we still love to be together as much as possible. "If she didn't have to work or have anything else to do, she'd sit at Starbucks all day while I worked just to be near me."
It's so true. Not in a crazy, codependent way, but in I-love-to-be-around-people and I-like-making-eyes-at-my-hubby-while-he-works and who-doesn't-like-sitting-at-Starbucks-all-day kinds of ways.
And you're not me, so if that sounds like torture to you, don't worry. I am an extravert. I get lonely pretty fast, which I learned in college pretty quick. I never could study in the library; it was far too quiet. I needed people around. I needed to feel the life and the energy of real live humans coursing through the room.
And now, it's that way with my husband. He’s my best friend and as someone who wants people always around, who better than my best friend? Just having him in the room makes my day a little brighter. Just knowing he's coming home soon makes me smile.
But marriage isn't all love songs and sunflowers. There is that...and it's so good. But there are also days like we had on a recent day off… Days when you plan a breakfast date and there's a miscommunication that turns into tears that turns into hard conversations and humbling realizations. But what makes a marriage good is knowing that you're fighting together, not fighting each other. You're fighting shoulder to shoulder to protect your love an intimacy and to break down barriers that spring up between you.
Your mission isn't to be happy, it's to be holy. Your mission isn't to feel loved, it's to show God's love to the world by loving each other.
So the hard days often end even sweeter than the good days. Because even when there are mistakes and tears, you can ask forgiveness and you can both re-chart your courses a little. And in the end you can stand shoulder to shoulder, a little closer, a little more united than you did before. I don’t know where I first heard it, but I’ve held it tight these three years of marriage…
Don’t fight each other. Fight together against the problem. Fight together for a solution.
So if you ask me to write a card for bride-to-be with a bit of marriage advice, this is always going on the card. What about you? What is your “go-to” marriage advice? That one thing you always want to tell brides to be?
Be blessed <3