Tomorrow, Mexico

Tomorrow morning we'll get up at something like 3:30 AM.Tomorrow morning we'll leave for our meeting destination sometime near 4:00 AM. Tomorrow morning we'll be taking off from an airport runway at around 6:05 AM. Tomorrow morning we'll land in Texas at about 9:40 AM. Tomorrow morning we'll meet up with the rest of the team for a quick breakfast by 10 AM. Tomorrow morning we'll load up a van and head for the border.

And by tomorrow afternoon, we'll be in Mexico.

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Land of dust roads and dust hills and dusty feet and dusty, smiling faces. Faces I know I'll soon love but inside am terrified to meet. Lips speaking a language it's been far too long since I last spoke. Smiles that need no interpretation. Poverty that makes me question my own life and heart.

The first time I went on a missions trip, I was gleefully excited and blissfully unaware of the seriousness of what we were doing. The second time I was heavy with the burden of taking dozens of youth on a trip as one of the leaders and my husband as the operations and logistics coordinator.

This time around, it’s just 5 adults and 2 kids, instead of something like 10 adults and 30 kids. Too small to really make a difference…right?

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Wrong. And the lies have been bombarding my heart hard and fast about this trip. Because this time I know that living life sold out for Jesus, let alone going on a missions trip with a well prepared heart, is like knocking on the gates of hell. And the gates of hell are scary, but my own heart’s propensity to sin is scarier.

But the God I love has already told us the end of the story. And in the end He wins and in Him, the victory is mine too. And this God of glory has promised that my name is written in His book and that nothing I do wrong is big enough to mess up His plan for the world.

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And I guess it's just that I’m not naive this time. It's because I know that there is an enemy opposing us. I’ve seen his power in my own heart and mind and the lives of those around me. And I guess it's because I’ve seen the battle up close and hard fought that I’m a little less willing to step into an unknown part of the battle field.

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And my heart has battled hard the past few months to remember… to remember the power of our God. to remember the blessing and joy that comes with serving God. to remember that it is all by His power and for His glory anyways.

But it’s through the battles that I learn to live close to His side. And that is a joy not worth exchanging for comfort and a peace worth every risk I can dream of. So pray for me. Pray that I’ll live close to Him during this trip and after. Pray for spiritual and physical protection from God. Pray that God will make an impact through us as a team. Pray for our hearts, that God will grow and change us too.

Be blessed <3