Those days when it's good…I mean heart-literally-bursting-with-joy-and-hope good? Sometimes those days seem like just a dream. One of those impossible dreams you'll never really experience. Broken down, discouraged, and frantic are better descriptions of how you feel on a day-to-day basis. At least...that's how I often feel.
Do you remember your first year of college? Mine was filled with almost constant stress from the looming homework, tests, and vague "class participation" grades that I felt were sure to make or break my grade. In the midst of all this anxiety, my curly headed crush (now my husband) practically danced into school one morning telling us all how, "In the light of eternity, none of this matters. Why are we all so stressed out?"
Whether my face showed my shock and inability to comprehend his joyful heart, I will probably never know. But my mind scrambled with excuses.
"Yes, but if I don't get good grades, I'll be seen as lazy and not smart! I won't get into college! I won't learn enough! God wants us to work hard…right?"
Oh, sisters, if only I had truly seen the wisdom behind the words of that hazel eyed boy. Yes, I am to work hard. Yes, I am to do all for God's glory. But in the midst of all that, it's all about getting from here to there, from earth to heaven, while falling more in love with Him all the while. It's about becoming more like Him so that when I get to be with Him in heaven someday I can hear those beautiful words, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter in to the joy of your salvation."
Sisters, I find myself so focused on all the everyday stresses, frustrations, and hurts of life that I can't see the grace gifts poured out on me daily. I think that these little trials somehow mean that I am serving God well, when in truth, they are drawing me away from His heart.
If I am seeing clearly, I will see that our adversary is secretly rejoicing every time I equate enduring a trial with being a faithful servant. The devil wants nothing more than to pull me out of the shower of grace that is streaming from our Creator, because he knows that apart from the blessings and joys of my Heavenly Father, my heart will grow weary, then hardened, then proud and self-righteous, looking down on those who walk in the joy of the grace overflow.
Just because I am laying down my life and will doesn't mean that I should be sorrowful and anxious. Look at Paul and Silas in prison. I'm sure they were not singing praise with heavy hearts and giving thanks with groans and tears. No, I'm sure they were full of joy in the Lord and were having their faith restored and built with each clear ringing note they sang.
Sisters, in that moment, they positioned themselves right under the stream of grace pouring from heaven. They didn't physically change their position, but they changed the direction thier spiritual eyes were looking. The eyes of their hearts were looking up at heaven, not down at the heavy iron chains binding them.
Oh how I want to be like those disciples. I want to see things through that heavenly lens, knowing that it is all working for His glory and my sanctification. Sisters, that is a reasons for rejoicing! Let's step out from under the weight of earthly worries and into the heavenly minded perspective that allows us to see the shower of grace that we are in as children of the King!
Be blessed <3