This is my life.
I want to live it present.
I want to live it full.
I want to live it fulfilled.
I want to live it fruitful.
Many days I find myself looking at my life like looking into a row of mirrors. One day mirroring another, mirroring another, mirroring another and another and another. For years. Maybe for the rest of my life.
It’s dizzying. Repetitive. Pointless.
Or so it seems.
But we serve a God who created this earth from the breath of His mouth, infusing it with glorious purpose. He created the sun to rise and set every morning and night. He created the waves of the ocean to endlessly lap at the shore. He created awake and asleep, hours and days and years in their cycles.
There is a liturgy, a form and a pattern, to this life that was created by God. And He called it good.
If I can't find the purpose and the joy and the worship in the little, repetitive moments throughout the day, then I will end up living empty.
Living from one bit of rest to the next.
Living from this fun distraction to that.
Living from one drudgery to the next.
Living only to escape the cycle or to worship the cycle.
It’s much easier to see the purpose in something when we can see it as a whole. I can see the purpose in motherhood when I look at it as a cumulation of years of loving and serving and teaching my children. I can see the purpose in studying God’s Word when I look at the results of years of faithfulness. I can see the purpose in eating healthy when I feel the effects of it stretched over weeks and months.
But I don't want these motherhood years to only feel purposeful when looked at as a whole. I want to be able to split them up into the individual days and hours and minutes I live and see the gospel purpose in each of them.
I want to walk through the endless cycles of wake and sleep, cook and clean, play and rest, diaper and diaper and diaper again and see the gospel purpose in each and every moment as I walk it.
I don’t want the caring for my body to only feel purposeful when I step back and think about staying healthy so I can someday meet my grandchildren.
I don’t want to see the purpose of seeking Jesus daily only when I look at it over the span of a lifetime of seeking and studying and pressing into Him and His Word.
I want to see the purpose right in the small, everyday moments of obedience.
Because I know that purpose is there.
The question is, will I choose to see it?
Will I choose to ask God to reveal the purpose He has given to each moment of my life? And will I rely on His strength and power to live into it?